Despising Church

(Sisi hair: plus)

It is a Sunday morning and as usual i won’t go to church. Most times I ask myself why I do this and I get no answers.

I try to understand why I just can’t get up, get dressed and go to church like normal people. Am I possessed? Do I have a devil living inside of me? Do I even believe in the existence of God? Oh, of course I do believe in his existence and his Miracles for sure. Or do I think I won’t be accepted by the church and it’s members?.

I keep asking myself these questions almost everyday and also promising to change my ways, but I don’t make no efforts to change.

My father died when I was 6 years old. Being the first child I had to step up and take care of my younger ones because mum had to make a living to be able to take care of us.

I became my mother’s husband, wife and care giver to my siblings. I had to start helping out in my mom’s shop everyday and in the process learn how to manage the shop when she wasn’t around. There were times when I thought I was being punished for no reason because I didn’t have time to do things every normal girl of my age was supposed to do.

I had to sacrifice some things for my mom’s happiness and my siblings too. I was always in my mom’s shop helping even on Sundays so she could make ends meet.

I think that is where my problem started as I began to despise Sundays.

Written by SiSi Jacqueline (sisi hairs)

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